2008-05-22

*sigh*

*overly-dramatic boy-related content follows... reader has now been forewarned*

This boy has a name, but I'm chosing to leave it out. It's not important right now, and anyone who I keep in close contact with will know who he is. Otherwise it's just a random name that's no better than the term 'boy' in place of his name.

On May 22, 2008 at 10:33PM I said "good bye" to one of my best friends. No, he didn't die but we finally came to a decision together that we've grown in vastly different directions and it was harming both of us to keep trying to shove pieces of a puzzle together that just don't quite fit. It was the end of "us" and any kind of relationship we once had. We agreed that the majority of these last four and a half years were really good times. I have no regrets. The circumstances leading up to this decision are too numerous to retell, but there is certainly a great deal of saddness. There is also a new beginning.

It was probably the oddest end to a relationship I've ever encountered. The conversation had many twists and turns with very little anger. I learned a lot of things about him and myself that I'd never known before, all in a matter of a few hours. The end of the conversation was near but neither was ready to say good-bye. I started to 'count down' in a half-joking manner but after I said "ok, since neither of us is ready to let go completely" I was interrupted with a "if you ever need anything, you have my number" which made all the flood gates burst open. I did manage to finish what I wanted to say with a "1, 2, 3... good-bye" which really gave more closure than I expected.

As sad as I am right now, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I went to Duluth today to get the rest of my stuff from the townhouse we once shared (with my dogs!). After it was all loaded (or I thought it was all loaded, just got a text about clothes still there) he even took me for a ride on his new motorcycle. I absolutely ADORE motorcycles, and his is a SPORT bike! I haven't ridden a sport bike since a while before my dad died. I forgot how scary fun it is.

I really don't like laying my life our for anyone to see, but I feel like this is a milestone in my life that has taken a few months to get to. Life is a never ending roller coaster, but I've felt like I'm going in circles for so long that it's nice to see straight ahead.

*end of overly-dramatic boy-related rant*

No comments: